Relearning the Power of Perspective
There are days I think, “I’ve already dealt with this.”
And yet—there it is again. The same old feeling. The same inner narrative. The same fear or shame or self-judgment I thought I had outgrown.
But maybe the goal isn’t to never return to hard feelings. Maybe the work is in returning with more tools. With more awareness. With a little more gentleness.
That’s what shifting perspective gives us: a way forward when everything feels stuck.
What Does It Mean to Shift Perspective?
To shift perspective means to intentionally choose to view something from a different angle. You don’t erase the facts—you expand the story.
It’s like turning a painting slightly in the light. It’s the same piece with a different glow.
This isn’t about “thinking positive” or pretending you’re not hurt. It’s about widening the lens so you’re not trapped in just one version of reality—especially when that version is rooted in fear, trauma, or self-criticism.
We can train ourselves to notice when we’re spiraling and gently ask:
“What else might be true?”
That’s where growth lives.
That’s where healing lives.
That’s where you live—in the space between reaction and possibility.
Why It Matters: The Science of Reframing
The ability to reframe is a foundational part of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), a widely researched and evidence-based approach for treating anxiety, depression, and trauma. Reframing doesn’t erase difficult circumstances—it changes the way we relate to them (Beck, 2011).
In his work on trauma, Dr. Bessel van der Kolk writes that trauma can keep our brains locked in survival mode—hyper-focused on threat, rejection, and failure (van der Kolk, 2014). Shifting perspective requires us to pause and ask our nervous system: Is this danger, or is it just discomfort?
Even that question is powerful.
Relearning What You Already Know
One of the most human things we do is forget what helps us. We drift away from the tools, the truths, the moments of clarity.
That’s not failure—it’s being human.
Every time I come back to the idea of shifting perspective, it meets me where I am. Each return reveals something new. It's never the same road, because I’m not the same person.
Try This: A Simple Practice to Shift Your Perspective
Here’s a guided, repeatable practice you can return to whenever you feel overwhelmed, reactive, or stuck in a painful loop. Take your time. Go slow.
Step 1: Ground in Your Body with Breath
Why: You can’t shift your mind if your body is stuck in survival mode. Grounding helps quiet the stress response.
Try:
Box Breathing
Inhale for 4 counts
Hold for 4 counts
Exhale for 4 counts
Hold for 4 counts
Repeat for 4–6 rounds
Or
3-Part Breath (Dirga Pranayama)
Inhale slowly into your belly
Expand into your ribs
Then lift into your chest
Exhale slowly in reverse: chest → ribs → belly
Repeat 5–10 rounds
Notice how your body softens, even just slightly.
Step 2: Name the Story You’re In
Why: Our brains love patterns. Often, when we’re upset, we’re reacting to a story—not just the moment.
Ask yourself:
What am I telling myself right now?
What belief is running in the background?
Examples:
“I always mess things up.”
“No one cares about me.”
“This is never going to change.”
Write it down or say it out loud.
Step 3: Ask Curious Questions
Why: Curiosity interrupts automatic thinking. It invites new pathways.
Try these questions:
What else could be true here?
What would I say to someone I love in this situation?
Is this a pattern from the past showing up again?
Is this thought helping me, or keeping me stuck?
Step 4: Choose a New Lens
Why: This is the shift. Not a lie, not denial—just a gentler truth.
Examples:
Original Thought: “I’m failing.”
New Lens: “I’m overwhelmed and doing the best I can.”
Original Thought: “Nobody supports me.”
New Lens: “I feel alone right now. Maybe I can reach out.”
Original Thought: “I should be over this.”
New Lens: “This is coming up again because I’m ready to understand it more deeply.”
Write or repeat your new lens slowly. Let it land in your body.
Step 5: Anchor the Shift
Why: The nervous system responds to repetition and sensation. Make the shift embodied.
Try:
Placing a hand on your chest and saying the new thought out loud
Going for a short walk while repeating it gently
Journaling what just changed
Drawing or doodling the new idea as a visual reminder
Gentle Reminders
It’s okay if the shift feels small. Tiny shifts are powerful.
You may need to do this more than once. That’s not failure—it’s practice.
Not every situation can be reframed in the moment. That’s okay. Come back when you’re ready.
Final Words
You don’t need to be perfect to grow.
You don’t need to feel ready to begin.
You just need a little space to see things differently.
Perspective doesn’t erase your pain.
It just reminds you: You are more than it.
And sometimes, that’s enough to take the next step forward.
Sources:
Beck, J. S. (2011). Cognitive Behavior Therapy: Basics and Beyond. Guilford Press.
Van der Kolk, B. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score. Viking.
Dweck, C. S. (2006). Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. Random House.
Seligman, M. E. P. (2011). Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-being. Free Press.