The Healing Canvas: Running Away vs. Facing the Storm
The idea of running away is a tempting escape from the emotional storms we face. Whether it’s avoiding difficult conversations, pushing aside memories, or physically leaving situations that feel too overwhelming, the instinct to flee can feel like survival. But what happens when running becomes a pattern? What happens when the act of avoidance builds an emotional prison rather than providing freedom?
In this post, we’ll explore why we run, the effects of avoidance, and how confronting our fears is the first step toward healing and self-empowerment.
Why Do We Run?
Avoidance is a natural response to fear, pain, or discomfort. From an evolutionary perspective, the "fight or flight" mechanism developed to protect us from immediate physical threats (Harvard Health Publishing, 2018). In modern times, however, many of the threats we face are emotional—grief, shame, anxiety, or unresolved trauma. Unlike physical threats, these cannot be outrun or left behind.
Avoidance often feels easier than confrontation because it offers short-term relief. For instance, ignoring a stressful work project may provide temporary peace, but the stress returns when the deadline looms. Similarly, avoiding a tough conversation in a relationship may delay conflict, but it doesn’t resolve the underlying issues.
The Effects of Running Away
While avoidance can provide temporary solace, over time, it compounds the very issues we try to escape. Studies show that avoidance behaviors are strongly linked to higher levels of anxiety, depression, and reduced emotional well-being (Kashdan et al., 2006). By running away from discomfort, we unknowingly give it more power over our lives.
Unaddressed fears and unresolved emotions can manifest in unexpected ways, such as:
Physical Symptoms: Chronic stress can lead to headaches, fatigue, or gastrointestinal issues (American Psychological Association, 2020).
Relationship Struggles: Avoiding conflict or vulnerability can erode trust and connection in relationships.
Self-Doubt: Consistently fleeing from challenges may reinforce the belief that we are incapable of handling adversity.
Running away is not freedom. It’s a detour that often brings us back to the same crossroads, each time with heavier baggage.
The Courage to Confront
Confronting your fears is not easy, but it is essential for personal growth. Psychologist Carl Jung famously said, "What you resist not only persists, but will grow in size." Facing our discomfort shrinks its power and opens the door to healing.
Here are some ways to start:
Acknowledge Your Avoidance Patterns
Notice when you’re tempted to run—whether through procrastination, numbing behaviors, or outright denial. Awareness is the first step toward change.Start Small
Begin with manageable steps. For instance, if you’ve been avoiding a conversation, try writing down what you want to say before speaking. Small victories build confidence.Seek Support
Therapy or counseling can provide a safe space to confront fears with guidance and tools tailored to your needs. Sharing your struggles with trusted friends or family members can also lighten the load.Practice Self-Compassion
Understand that avoiding discomfort is a survival mechanism, not a character flaw. Be kind to yourself as you unlearn these patterns.
The Pathway to Healing
Healing begins with choosing courage over comfort. When we stop running and face the source of our discomfort, we learn to rewrite the narratives that hold us back. Instead of seeing fear as a barrier, we can view it as a guide—showing us the areas where we need growth and understanding.
The process may be painful, but it’s also transformative. By confronting our fears, we reclaim power over our lives, deepen our relationships, and develop resilience that extends far beyond the moment.
Final Thoughts
Running away feels like an escape, but it’s often a tether keeping us stuck. True freedom comes from confronting the storms within us, no matter how daunting they seem. The pathway to healing isn’t linear or easy, but every step toward self-awareness and courage is a step toward a more empowered life.
As you reflect on what you’ve been running from, remember: you’re stronger than you think, and help is always available.
Sources
American Psychological Association. (2020). Stress effects on the body. Retrieved from https://www.apa.org
Harvard Health Publishing. (2018). Understanding the stress response. Retrieved from https://www.health.harvard.edu
Kashdan, T. B., Barrios, V., Forsyth, J. P., & Steger, M. F. (2006). Experiential avoidance as a generalized psychological vulnerability: Comparisons with coping and emotion regulation strategies. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 44(9), 1301-1320.