The Healing Canvas: The benefits of Self-Care
Self-care. We’ve all heard the term, but what does it actually mean? More importantly, why is it so hard for many of us—especially those who’ve experienced trauma—to engage in self-care regularly?
At its core, self-care is the practice of taking deliberate actions to nurture your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. It can be as simple as taking a walk in nature, saying no to an extra task at work, or carving out time to relax after a busy day. Self-care is not selfish; it’s an act of love for yourself, a way to recharge so you can continue showing up in life and in relationships as the best version of yourself. However, for many people, especially those with trauma histories, self-care can feel incredibly difficult.
Why Self-Care Can Be So Challenging
For people with trauma, self-care may not feel natural or even safe. Trauma often rewires the brain to stay in survival mode, making self-care seem like a luxury rather than a necessity. Trauma can make us believe we’re undeserving of care, or that others' needs must always come first. This makes it difficult to prioritize our own well-being, leading to burnout, stress, and even further emotional pain.
In fact, many people who have experienced trauma carry an unconscious message: “I don’t deserve this.” Whether it’s due to past neglect, abuse, or other overwhelming experiences, trauma can rob us of our sense of worthiness. Over time, this can make the simple act of caring for oneself feel like a monumental task.
But here's the truth: self-care is an act of love for the self. By practicing it, we start to challenge those internal voices that say we aren’t worthy of care and begin to reclaim our sense of self-worth.
Setting Boundaries as Self-Care
One of the most powerful forms of self-care is setting boundaries. This might mean learning to say "no" to obligations that overwhelm you or establishing clear limits with others to protect your emotional energy. Boundaries help us define what is acceptable and what isn’t, allowing us to maintain healthier relationships with ourselves and others.
When we set boundaries, we communicate that our needs matter, that our time is valuable, and that we deserve respect. This can be hard for those who’ve experienced trauma, especially if their boundaries were violated in the past. Yet learning to set and maintain boundaries is a crucial part of self-care. It’s a way to protect your energy, prioritize your needs, and reinforce that you are deserving of care.
What Does Self-Care Look Like?
Self-care can take many forms and doesn’t have to involve elaborate rituals or expensive treatments. Here are a few types of self-care:
Physical Self-Care: This includes activities that support your body, like getting enough sleep, eating nourishing foods, moving your body through exercise, or even simply drinking enough water.
Emotional Self-Care: Emotional care involves acknowledging and processing your feelings, whether through journaling, talking to a therapist, or spending time doing activities that bring joy and relaxation.
Mental Self-Care: This involves nurturing your mind through activities that stimulate, relax, or heal it, such as reading, meditation, practicing mindfulness, or simply allowing yourself to take a break when you feel overwhelmed.
Social Self-Care: Spending time with supportive friends or family can be an important part of self-care. However, if you’re someone who needs more solitude, social self-care might also mean knowing when to take a step back from social obligations to recharge.
Spiritual Self-Care: This may involve practices that help you feel connected to something bigger than yourself, like meditation, prayer, or spending time in nature. Spiritual self-care can also involve simply reflecting on what gives your life meaning.
Overcoming the Challenge of Self-Care
Self-care requires intentionality. It asks us to pause and consider our needs, which can be difficult for those who are used to putting others first. However, when we start to view self-care not as an indulgence but as a necessity, it becomes easier to incorporate into our daily lives.
It’s also important to remember that self-care doesn’t have to be perfect. Some days, self-care may look like setting aside a few minutes for a deep breath. Other days, it may involve tackling a long-overdue task or taking a break from work to reset. The key is consistency—making self-care a regular practice rather than something you turn to only when you’re on the edge of burnout.
For those with trauma, healing takes time, and so does building a self-care routine that works. Start small, be kind to yourself, and remember that caring for yourself is not only okay—it’s necessary. The more you practice self-care, the more you’ll come to believe that you deserve it.
As Audre Lorde famously said, “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.” Self-care, then, is not just a personal act—it’s a powerful statement that your well-being matters.
Conclusion
Self-care isn’t about grand gestures or expensive retreats. It’s about small, meaningful acts of love for yourself that restore balance, improve mental and physical health, and remind you that you are deserving of care. Whether it’s setting boundaries, taking time to rest, or finding joy in your favorite activities, self-care is essential for everyone, and especially for those who’ve faced trauma. The journey to self-care is a process, and it’s one worth taking.
Start today. Take a breath. You are worth it.
Sources:
Audre Lorde, A Burst of Light: Essays