Grief: The Unseen Thread that Connects Us All

Grief is one of the most profound, universal experiences we face. It can emerge from any significant loss—a loved one, a job, a relationship, even a sense of identity—and it affects us all, regardless of age, background, or beliefs. While grief is a shared experience, each journey through it is deeply personal. In the U.S., a society focused on productivity and image, we’re often pressured to “move on” too quickly, which can prevent true healing. Let’s explore grief, its impact on us, and what we can learn from other cultures in how to navigate it.

Understanding Grief: A Journey, Not a Destination

Grief isn’t a single emotion but a complex experience that can affect our body, mind, and spirit. It’s often described as a process, a journey through emotions like sadness, anger, confusion, and sometimes relief. Psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross famously outlined five stages of grief—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance (Kübler-Ross & Kessler, 1969). However, modern psychology recognizes that grief doesn’t follow a predictable path. These stages can appear in any order, overlap, or come and go, much like waves in the ocean.

Studies show that grief also impacts us physically, affecting everything from our immune system to our sleep patterns (O’Connor & Sussman, 2014). It can even change brain areas associated with pain and reward, reinforcing the deep, interconnected nature of mind and body during times of loss.

Grieving in the United States: The Challenge of “Moving On”

In the U.S., grief can be especially challenging because our culture often sees it as an obstacle to overcome rather than a journey to embrace. We are a society of fast-paced productivity, one that values resilience and quick recovery. This pressure can leave those grieving feeling isolated, as they may feel the need to hide their emotions to appear "strong" or "back to normal." The American Psychological Association highlights this trend, noting that people are often pressured to “move forward” too soon, leading to unresolved grief that can manifest as depression, anxiety, or even physical health problems (APA, 2021).

Even workplaces reflect this attitude, with limited bereavement leave and minimal support systems for employees experiencing loss. This focus on “moving on” can deprive people of the time and space they need to truly heal, making it difficult to fully process their loss.

Grief as a Universal Experience

Despite these challenges, grief is one of the few experiences that transcends boundaries of race, religion, and social status. Philosopher Thomas Attig calls this the “equalizing power of grief,” emphasizing how it connects us through shared vulnerability and reminds us of what’s most important—connection, compassion, and remembrance (Attig, 2004). No matter our background, we all know what it means to lose, to love, and to feel the emptiness that grief can bring.

Cultural Approaches to Grief: Lessons from Around the World

Different cultures offer unique perspectives on grief, showing us various ways to process, honor, and remember those we’ve lost. In Mexico, for example, Día de los Muertos (Day of the Dead) is a holiday that celebrates the lives of deceased loved ones. Families create ofrendas (altars) with photos, candles, and favorite foods of the departed, blending remembrance with celebration. Rather than mourning alone, this holiday brings families and communities together to honor life and memory in a way that feels joyful (Brandes, 2006).

In Nigeria, the Yoruba people practice communal grieving through extended ceremonies filled with song, dance, and storytelling. These rituals allow the community to mourn together and celebrate the deceased’s life, providing comfort and support to those in grief (Ezeh & Ekwueme, 2013). These practices remind us that grief doesn’t have to be hidden; it can be a shared experience that strengthens connections and brings comfort.

The Healing Journey

Healing from grief isn’t about “getting over it” but about integrating the loss into our lives in a way that allows us to continue growing. Grief changes us, but it also offers an opportunity to transform pain into compassion and understanding. Healing often involves self-compassion—accepting our emotions as they come without judgment or pressure. Practices like mindfulness, journaling, or creating art can provide a meaningful outlet for these emotions, allowing us to process our feelings at our own pace (Neimeyer, 2000).

Therapists and mental health professionals emphasize that finding support—whether through therapy, support groups, or close friends—can make a difference. Healing doesn’t mean forgetting; it means honoring what was lost while finding a new way forward.

Embracing Grief as a Community

In the U.S., learning from cultures that openly embrace grief could help us foster a healthier approach. As a society, we can encourage people to express their feelings without fear of judgment and support one another through loss. Grieving is a deeply human experience, one that can unite us in compassion and understanding. By making space for grief, we honor not only what we’ve lost but also the connections that give life its meaning.

Grief is the unseen thread that connects us all. Though the journey may be challenging, it’s also an invitation to remember, to feel, and to find comfort in our shared humanity.

The Healing Canvas offers a space to honor and explore our emotions, allowing us to connect with ourselves and others through creativity and understanding. Here, we can recognize grief as a part of the shared human experience, learning to embrace loss and love with open hearts.

Sources

• Attig, T. (2004). How We Grieve: Relearning the World. Oxford University Press.

• American Psychological Association (APA). (2021). Understanding grief and loss. APA.

• Brandes, S. (2006). Skulls to the Living, Bread to the Dead: The Day of the Dead in Mexico and Beyond. Wiley.

• Ezeh, P. J., & Ekwueme, L. E. (2013). “The Yoruba concept of mourning and bereavement: A cultural perspective.” Journal of Culture, Health & Sexuality.

• Kübler-Ross, E., & Kessler, D. (1969). On Death and Dying. Macmillan.

• Neimeyer, R. A. (2000). Lessons of Loss: A Guide to Coping. Center for the Study of Loss and Transition.

• O’Connor, M. F., & Sussman, T. J. (2014). “Grieving: Brain, mind, and body.” Journal of Psychiatry & Neuroscience.